Thoughts about delicious treats and lavish meal gatherings are plentiful this time of year, it is the holiday season after all. Shortly after Halloween, where you may get lots of candy treats from the kids (or maybe more adult ones), it may be easy to abandon many of the healthy nutrition strategies or diet plans you have been practicing. This can continue for weeks for many once that first instance of indulgence and depending upon how your relationship with food is, it can be easy to keep the ball rolling. It’s also very easy to then soon after find encouragement to get “stuffed” at Thanksgiving meals (maybe multiple) along with the many holiday gatherings and parties to follow through the new year. It’s no wonder there are so many New Year’s resolutions and the cycle of “falling off or getting back on the wagon” so to speak (and sometimes a lot of unnecessary guilt to go with too!). It doesn’t have to be this way and there are tried and true ways to find healthier eating habits again (or perhaps for the first time) and find your inner intuitive eater, that is more focused on finding nourishment.

To be clear we are not referencing a diet system here by the same name and would argue that intuitive eating does not need some sort of distinct formula or copyright as it is something most all of us are able to do from birth. Typically, we are very in touch with our internal cues of hunger and satiety from the start and able to pay close attention to this to guide or nourishment in childhood (and for others this continues throughout life). However, for many as we get older or perhaps learn behaviors or coping mechanisms that pull us away from being as in touch with ourselves or those internal cues, we take on more disordered eating patterns. You can CHANGE this! Much of this begins with changing thinking patterns around food.

There are many reasons why we may take on a more “disordered” pattern so to speak. For some it may be a coping strategy while for others it may just be the convenience of fast foods during an overly packed stressful workday. Maybe it’s a lack of access to (or understanding of) whole nutrient dense vs calorically dense nutrient deficient foods. Maybe it’s having learned that certain foods or even whole categories of food are “bad” and then avoiding them or feeling guilty when having them. Others may be struggling with long and deep seeded disordered eating patterns from childhood or later.

Regardless of the many reasons why you may have steered away from a more intuitive way of eating and finding the best nourishment for your body, there are ways to help steer ourselves back toward a healthier relationship with your food, and the types of food you eat. A good first step is changing some of the thoughts and language you may have around various foods and your relationship with them. Perhaps then slowing down a bit so you can get more in touch with your body and it’s internal cues like those around hunger and satiety which are both hormonal and also subjective in feeling. Another shift toward more intuitive eating can be helped by a repertoire of foods and meals that include more simple whole food ingredients eaten mindfully until satiated (Think a 7-ish on an imaginary hunger to full scale of 1-10).

The holidays just happen to be a time where we coaches see MANY unhealthy patterns begin to be sewn or stirred up again; and it isn’t always something people may be aware of. These include a variety of disordered eating patterns, so before we move forward, we should define what these can look like.

What are disordered eating patterns?

Disordered eating can take on some different meanings but are considered “abnormal” or deviating from what would be considered more intuitive practices aligned with the internal cues and health of your body, guided by hunger and satiety. For the record, disordered eating patterns do not necessarily mean the same thing as an eating disorder. With that said, it can include eating behaviors that are similar to certain eating disorders. This can be due to psychosocial factors, undertaken for the purpose of weight loss or health promotion, or perhaps due to falling out of synch with our natural rhythms for a variety of other reasons mentioned already. However, these types of patterns may create risk or harm with adverse effects even though that may not be the intention of the person engaging in these behaviors.  Disordered eating can be quite common and not always recognized as such, due to the normalization of many disordered behaviors in Western cultures (the United States in particular, but many other typically developed “first world” cultures ). Some examples of disordered eating can include:

• Yo-Yo and fad dieting

• Restrictive and/or conversely binge eating

• Irregular eating and/or skipping meals

• Pre-occupation with food or meals

• Ignoring physical hunger or satiety/“fullness” cues

• Repetitive “cleanses” or “detoxes”

• Heightened focus on appearance as it relates to food intake

• Excessive focus on food intake in relation to calories or other units of measurement

• Supplement misuse/ diet pill use or misuse

• Social media usage overly focused on appearance or food

• Under-eating or overeating

These are just some examples and they do not always indicate a PATTERN of disordered eating in isolation or specific occasion. But patterns can develop. Some can become cycles as well. How do we get into these cycles? How do we break these cycles? There are many ways that this can happen and ways to get back to more healthy intuitive practices, but a very COMMON cycle for many can follow as below:

Again, just one example as MANY patterns and cycle types exist.

What do the holidays have to do with it? Origins in plenty and abundance…

Well, let’s take a big step back first in terms of why our current holiday environment poses a challenge around food and look at food abundance by itself…

One could argue that things really kicked off during the agricultural revolution and introduction of the Norfolk four course system (a crop rotation system) that made it quite a bit easier to maintain good nutrient status comparatively to previous systems. It helped farmers and populations sustain and we began to see no fallow years (field laying without production), while they provided both a main crop and grazing crop for livestock, in turn paving the way for MUCH more production of both year-round. It became increasingly easy to access more nutritious foods and there was a notable increase in the health and life spans of the populations. Access to more plants and animal products to eat year round was a HUGE win! However, plentiful paved the way to over-abundance…

If we fast forward quite a bit and draw parallels to industrialized developed first world countries like the United States, we can see where we have taken other techniques to create bounty, that were once a boon for health, and made it into something rather unhealthy. What was once intended to create a healthier society, has later turned to create quite an unhealthy ones. The introduction of abundance also led to figuring out new ways to create new foods out of those and other sources and their previously unused parts, both beginning to affect the health of those consuming.

The most recent revolution in a sense was the introduction of food science and technology. Some of the developments made more or uniquely created nutrient dense foods accessible to more populations, but it also paved the way to creating foods and socioeconomic circumstances that have the opposite effect (e.g. fast food, food deserts, inflation of specific food items, discouraging consumption of various nutrient dense foods and beneficial cultivation practices). While the discussion of genetically modified foods is not part of our discussion here, we mention the use of other tinkering methodologies now to create foods that aren’t really foods, in that they are not similar to anything that exists naturally (think Snickers bar). We can engineer a staple grain like rice to have more of a specific vitamin for a group of people that may lack it, but that isn’t necessarily the same as developing a very calorically dense candy bar that carries very little nutritional value. While it can be argued that some engineered foods have helped solve nutritional deficiencies in various populations, it is very difficult to argue that Snickers and McDonalds have solved any real-world health issues. In fact, the opposite can be argued for the latter; and this is where we see how there has been a split from the original intent of fulfilling nutritional needs to now foods coming to market have hyper-palatable properties, but little to no nutrients, and are accompanied by marketing strategies to push. These, and other highly processed calorically dense foods lacking in nutrients, make up more of the standard American diet than ever before (and increasingly other westernized cultures). It is now more commonplace than ever to eat to satiate a taste craving, not a nutritional requirement. This brings us back to one very common way that intuitive eating practices and being in touch with hunger and satiety can be powerfully overridden by certain designed foods that can derail them, and the holiday season where many of these types of foods come to market and table. This can begin with the equally strong advertising woven into the fabric of the holiday place setting, starting with your Halloween treat stash and continuing onward. This of course is only part of the equation when it comes to the environment we live in and cultural norms that encourage certain eating behaviors. As mentioned, many others exist as well.

Cool tech and history, but why the holidays? It’s not just Snickers and pies…

Well to bring it forward to our immediate past as individuals living in a westernized society with abundance, we need to look at what influences our disordered eating behaviors. Besides the fact that you can now easily tap through your phone to a donut delivery or better yet walk to 3 different ones in a 2 mile radius, there is more to disordered eating than easy access and marketing. As we mentioned, disordered eating is not only binge eating or eating excessive non-nutrient dense foods. While it can be a common way to get derailed from what is intuitive at birth, foods that tickle taste sensations or override internal signals aren’t the only type or cause of disordered eating patterns. We do have choice after all, right?!

While we do indeed have choice, some of these choices are steered on a subconscious level. Funny enough, we innately know how to eat intuitively, but we can easily lose that ability over time. Everything and everyone around us can train and influence our relationship with food, and this ultimately affects our eating patterns. This training/ influence can come from the adults raising us with their own quirks and food relationships, our friends, media and pop culture, our careers, the sports or activities we participate in, and of course now social media.

Though media (traditional and social) has more impact on how we feel about our appearance than it ever has before whether it be from an “influencer”, “fitfluencer” (fitness oriented), or perhaps even a friend or stranger showing their best side, there are also many ads and sponsored individuals pushing a loft of quick fix solutions. These can show up as what seems like a reputable source selling new diet plans, diet pills or shakes, or “prescriptive” exercise plans. We often see these promoted more heavily during and just after the holidays. A new plan to get back on track or “reset”, a month challenge to work off the holiday pounds, or “transformation” paired with the “New Year New You” slogan.

However, some of the more impactful “influencers” may not be as present as our screens, but they do have the uncanny ability to affect us. We’re talking about our upbringing, during our formative years we are taught how to view and relate to food. We watch our parents from a very young age and throughout our childhood, and are influenced by their eating patterns and preferences, how they encourage or discourage certain foods or patterns, and even how they react to our own intuitive choices early on. Interestingly, a lot of us may have generational disordered eating patterns because of how they can continue to be passed along. Can you recognize any in your family? The holidays is of course a time when we may be spending more time with the very figures that initially helped shape some of our patterns or simply pass it along.

Many of us are familiar with the following restrictive phrases: “are you sure you need another”, “I couldn’t possibly eat another bite, I’m so full”(paired with wide eyes at you while you keep eating) or those formed in families that experienced scarcity: “waste not want not”, “clear your plate or you won’t get ‘xyz’”. These types of influences affect all genders alike, and manifests in a variety of ways. Women can often receive the message of thinness/ smallness and men often receive the message of fitness, which has thinness coded into it, but the focus is given to strength and “manliness”. Many other circumstances abound beyond the examples provided above, the point being we can be subtly coached into restrictive or excessive patterns as children with simple cues from our adults, whether that is their intention or not becomes irrelevant in our own adulthood.  What comes next is retraining ourselves for ourselves.

Again… why the holidays, though?! Wouldn’t that be a really tough time to try?

Yes and NO. The reason why we may want to start orienting ourselves towards traction or perhaps regaining some in the arena of intuitive eating (Again- for our OWN unique nutritional needs) is precisely because of what the holidays can do. They can help us become aware of our patterns and that is critical to taking a first step in making a change.

If we are participating in our usual routine, it’s not always as easy to see what our patterns may be because they are deeply rooted and automatic in a way. As the holidays approach it can be rather disruptive in many ways. Changes and disruptions with routine at work and home, gatherings, holiday breaks with kids at home from school, travel, etc.  We can use this disruptive time to our advantage and frame it as an opportunity. It can be a time to use our awareness to create one very simple action to help return to more intuitive practices. Think something very small you can do each day.

So how do I retrain myself to eat intuitively?

As mentioned, there is disruption to take advantage of during the holidays, but there is also an awareness that needs to be there and revisited repeatedly before things start to feel more like a natural rhythm. Change takes effort of course, but we need some initial realizations of what the change we need is and what may be shrouded in make believe, as far as health and fitness diet trends we see.

Accept that much of diet culture (not read as diets) , related marketing, and coaching is rolled up in marketing schemes to make someone money. We are not talking about a plan devised by your nutritionist, dietician or health professional but more so the “keto shake for 30 day” plan that worked for your friend. There is no quick fix for “permanent” weight loss and/or increased muscle tone (It takes time and consistency!). Marketing and sales in this arena bank on you trying and failing so you can be sold the next thing in a state of frustration or confusion. How many times did you stop a plan or diet once you reached your goal only to find yourself losing your progress? Find something sustainable as many things you may see may not be. Be real with yourself and what will not only work for you but what you will indeed do. So many people we see pick something because they saw someone else do it or are convinced it’s the only way or magic bullet, but it just isn’t for them. You need to be at least a 9/10 you will do whatever tiny little action you set out to do when you need to do it (Hint: likely every day and maybe even multiple times). It needs to be something that works for you and that you actually do!

Some suggestions…

Train yourself to distinguish what is PSYCHOLOGICAL VS real PHYSICAL HUNGER and learn to listen to and honor true physical hunger. Before you automatically go to eat or pick something up on a fork, before the meal is even in front of you, ask if you are experiencing physical hunger, boredom, sadness or emptiness, or is it stomach growling and low energy? We have a primal urge to eat bountiful tasty food because our evolution hasn’t yet caught up with the fact that this isn’t our only kill or bounty and we have all the grocery stores and meal options we could ask for. Once you start listening and feeding yourself when your body signals actual hunger and stopping when you are satisfied rather than gorged or underfed, that can create a new awareness and habit to build on.

Practice EATING SLOWLY so you can actually know when you are satisfied. This should feel like a 7-8 out of 10 on a 1-10 scale. Not stuffed 10 like on Thanksgiving (hopefully not this year at least), or still feeling a little hollow/empty. You should feel satisfied and like you can still move around well.

Make peace with food! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat food. It’s okay to indulge too! You can indeed have pie but it doesn’t need to be the whole pie. Slow eating can help you enjoy indulgences more and avoid overeating them. As soon as you start trying to tell yourself what you can and can’t have it’s easier to instigate feelings of deprivation which can create cravings, leading to a guilt cycle if you indulge and possibly result in overeating. Though sweets aren’t necessarily a nutrient rich food, it’s okay to enjoy your food and for it to just taste good sometimes too. It’s not black or white there either.

Tell your food police (internal voice) to keep it down. This is critical and the voice you use need not be aggressive. We all have a constant dialogue in our mind dictating whatever standards we’ve been trained to uphold. Be it praise for under-eating, or denying yourself something, or chiding yourself for indulging in ice cream or that whipped cream on your coffee drink. You know the one. Try asking this voice why it is telling you to do or not do something, what is it there to help or serve? This can help with some real “aha” moments rather than ones that’s lead to frustration, guilt or disappointment.

Rediscover the SENSATIONS of eating. Feel your senses of taste, smell, vision, touch etc. Think about the food you will eat and what it will also do for your body and mind. What you eat does in many ways become a part of you so think of that as you are enjoying. In our obsession with calorie counting and diet plans we stop taking the time to truly enjoy what we consume. Allow yourself to relish in the sensation of feeling satisfied. This will eventually lead to a natural stopping point, preventing overeating. This ties into consuming nutritious foods, nourishment over “fuel”, and we can feel in our bodies when we’ve eaten something that satisfies our needs.

Establish better coping strategies if food was being used as one. This is a layered one and can take some serious work with a professional who is trained in that area alone.

This is another tough one… accept your body, if you are having a hard time doing so. Many of us have been trained to have an idealized body we chase after. However, we also need to accept that often the results we see take more than what meets the eye. We need to match this to what our expectations are of ourselves with what is realistic for our current circumstances and ability (yes- this can change too). We also need to acknowledge that sometimes what we may be aspiring to be are results of having the ability to focus strictly on diet and exercise, perhaps performance enhancing drugs, or even surgical interventions. Sometimes aspiring to this is like having a size 8 foot and trying to squish your foot into a size 6 shoe. Accepting our bodies for what they are gives us a freedom to really explore how health manifests itself through movement and love it for what it does for us.

In that vein, move! See how it feels, what feels good for you? Stop looking to how many calories you burned, look at your energy levels after a workout, feel how your body moves after you work out. Are you feeling stronger? Is there less pain in some areas as you start strengthening your body and nourishing it to sustain or build? Tie your food journey to your movement journey and see if this changes things for you. Often when we see people change their plan from strict aesthetic goals to eating nutritious foods with looser guidelines to feel or perform a certain way they are better able to eat intuitively.

Nutritious whole foods can still satisfy our taste buds. And if we’re keeping in practice with all of the above, we can even feel how it satisfies us and affects us.

How do I apply this to my holiday meals and beyond?

• Practice some simple slow eating strategies starting now: Chewing more before you swallow, chew your protein really well (like 30X), putting your fork down between bites, engaging in more conversation at the dining room table, not eating distracted by tech, being in a relaxed state and not eating on the go.

• Listen to what are real internal physical vs psychological hunger cues and practice eating to “satisfied” not “stuffed”. If you’re not sure you’re satisfied, drink some water, wait 10-15 minutes before getting more food. Conversely, don’t wait until starving to eat.

• Listen to your body and do your best to make nutritious choices that serve to nourish your body rather than just satisfy a craving, and remember to savor the meal to help avoid overeating.

• Take time and care in preparing your food and experience this process of connecting with your nourishment. This checks MANY boxes that helps with intuitive eating.

• Indulgence is okay! Don’t guilt yourself for enjoying a slice of pie, you don’t need to skip any meals just because you enjoyed a sweet treat and make sure you are actually present and ENJOYING it. There is a difference between enjoying a slice of pie when offered at an office holiday party vs not having the pie even though you want it and then going home and overeating a massive meal (or whole pie!).

• Remember to move your body! A nice walk after the family meal can help your digestion a bit whether you did or didn’t overindulge. And for some of us, provides a necessary break from the hustle and bustle of the big family gatherings.