Waiting For the Perfect Time to Start? No Time Like the Present…
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We hope you have been taking some time to enjoy the slower season with friends and family. There are still over 2 weeks (16 days) and over 4% of the year left. However, many of you have likely already mentally turned the page over to 2022… We can’t blame you! This can leave the remaining days of December seeming like somewhat of a wash, but there is still viable time to use in reflection and laying foundation for what is next. We also are aware that working HARD or trying to do some sort of “monthly challenge” may be beyond the capacity of many folks right now and it may have been another tough year. However, we are not asking or encouraging you to do any sort of tough, suck it up and go all-in challenge here. We are instead looking at how you might be able to take these last weeks of the year to reflect and create some awareness. This may indeed help you more than you realize and also allow you to get started right away with some very small daily habit that toward better health. This may allow you to not only be more successful with your new year’s resolutions but create greater awareness around larger patterns you follow.
We Understand that many folks may feel like they are hanging out somewhere right in that shaded region where the arrow is…Don’t fret
Now can be a great time to reflect and revisit the highs and lows of the year, and maybe even years previous. For many of you, the past couple years have been quite challenging in a variety of ways; and with that you may have had to make big changes or perhaps at least pivot and adjust. How has that looked for you? Has it affected your goals? Are you struggling to gain traction, more than previously? These are common struggles we hear from clients and quite frankly we have had to make rather large adjustments ourselves, that we never imagined we would. We want you to take a moment and really appreciate all you’ve done for yourself big and small. We also want you to consider reflecting on the challenges more objectively. While they may have been difficult or frustrating, was there opportunity in those challenges? Can you use this time to find it?
We mentioned in our previous blog that this time of year can be a tough mental game for us all. Many of us have patterns of indulgent or guilty thoughts around health. Be that food, exercise or self-care. Taking pause from your routine and imagining some lofty goals for a grand metamorphosis as you near the new year. You’re very much not alone in this pattern, but we want to challenge you to make a shift! This shift is toward reflection and objectively viewing the highs and lows of previous goals and turning that into a learning experience and a way to set shorter term, and smaller, achievable goals. Not to say you need to toss the metamorphosis out the window, but treat it like what it is, a long-term goal not something a magic wand will wave over you and create for you. As is our approach, the things you may wish to create or change are often easier than you think they will be , but they do often take longer than you expect. This is why it is also a great time NOW to reflect and lay down those expectations. Hopefully this helps you if you tend to feel like you’re running in circles year after year towards something you have been aspiring toward.
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Avoid creating “transformation” goals this year that may leave you feeling like you’re chasing your own tail year after year…
There is no need to lament over challenges or failures. What we can do with these feelings is turn it into an awareness and personal growth opportunity. You may have heard us refer to this as being more inquisitive and objective like a scientist rather than judging ourselves. We’ve all got an idealized “optimal” version of ourselves, but this can lead us to overshoot with our goals…Surpassing the practical and achievable goals for this idea of the BEST or most desired goal. A bit of an all or nothing approach. But the trick is allowing space for humility, regularly checking in with yourself and reflecting on how you can create a smaller goal or goals to reach the bigger goal, or maybe even allow yourself the space to change what the bigger goal is. This is key, because without that awareness and space, you may not be able to know where to start to create the changes you are looking cultivate.
RIGHT NOW can be as good a time as any (we think possibly better) to start preparing for, and maybe even starting, what is next for you. January 1st or 14th or whatever date you have set out does not need to hold the weight you may want to give it. The key to this start is awareness. In awareness is opportunity for change. So perhaps as you reflect on this past year (and those previous) you can notice some things that will help you with your goals.
Reflection:
How do we reflect? What do we do with reflection?
PAUSE & LOOK BACK: How has this last year gone? Did you have goals or milestones you achieved or others you did not? Are you happy with where you are or progress you’ve made? Are you feeling frustrated, limited or sad about not achieving a goal? Take a moment with yourself and reflect back on events of these last months and see how you are feeling about things.
Feelin’ good? …Awesome! Celebrate that and think about how that success may transform into something next in line or maybe even something unrelated , but you can use that same persistence and consistency that got you there.
Not so great on some things?...That’s okay too. If your self-talk or thoughts toward yourself have been less than, consider reframing or perhaps extending some compassion to yourself, as you would a best friend, or loved one. Perhaps you can give yourself some grace? Patterns of setting big “all or nothing” year-long goals can make us fall into negative self-talk since they are often hard to nail 100%, ultimately resulting in what you would consider failing even if you did make some progress there or in another area. If you didn’t’ t meet a specific health goal, or make it to the gym every day, but you got closer to it or showed up 80% of the time, that is fantastic! Use this time of reflection to take a more objective look at the types of goals you’re setting for yourself and how you’re evaluating your progress.
HUMILITY IS KEY: We are not all the same, we all have different limitations. We also all grow and change at different times and rates; and there is no ideal. There are pros and cons to everything. One person may make strength gains very quickly but find more frustrating plateaus sooner getting stuck, while another may take longer and see fewer plateaus along the way. Both can get to the same place of their strongest self. One may have made immense progress on their nutrition and health goals this year but not been as proactive around their movement goals, while the opposite may hold true for someone else. Did anyone in those scenarios flail or fail? No- not really, and all made NET POSITIVE gains toward their overall health and fitness. To best find what works for us, we need to really be in our bodies and learn its signals. You are not a failure if your knees can’t take the impact from running right now with your current form or perhaps an injury. It is current circumstance and that can change. Having humility and being able to understand limitations can help you grow without feeling set back. You will see these blips as part of change and growth. The only way to stay in tune with these things is to reflect and ensure we stay AWARE along the way.
IDENTIFYING PATTERNS: Using this time of year to reflect can also make us aware of patterns. Maybe they are patterns that we exhibit only during this time of year. However, if we look back it may also make us aware of larger patterns we take with us from day to day like time management skills, or consistency with various habits hinging on specific times of year, or how we handle stress (as these all are common ones that bubble up this time of year especially). Being aware of these patterns and cultivating better self-awareness is a skill.
Awareness:
What is awareness? How do we create it?
SLOW DOWN to TAKE STOCK: Trying to move quickly while looking at something and trying to focus can feel impossible. Like trying to look at the scenery as you are zipping by on a bullet train. Try instead to pace yourself and be thoughtful about what you are doing. Stop trying to do too many things at once. Give yourself dedicated time for certain activities to allow yourself to really be present. While you’re at lunch, be at lunch, rather than on your phone or computer. Minimize and simplify if you can, stop overbooking yourself, or perhaps over-obligating yourself to gatherings this time of year, it can become too much, and is a great opportunity to start this practice. This is especially difficult during the holiday season for many of you, with so much extra going on, but you can also seize the opportunity this year to objectively, and without judgment, see how scattered you may be and where your energy is going.
TUNING IN vs OUT: It can be easy to tune out or get distracted by our environment, or what others may be doing as well, but are you taking time to look inward versus outward? Sometimes we think we are looking in, but it is really in relation to something or someone else, or a distraction. Practice the skill of zooming in or taking some time to do a mind-body scan where you close your eyes and scan your body from head to toe with even breathing.
BE PRESENT: Are you slowing down but still looking ahead? Moving too quickly and rushing from task to task is part of it, but so is always looking toward what is next rather than what is in front of you NOW…. Try slowing yourself down, remove distractions, and try to be where you are at that very moment. For example, watching videos on your phone while eating may distract you from the senses and signals of being satiated or fully chewing your bites, as we mentioned in our last blog post. But you may also be looking ahead to the next bite or part of your meal. Can you be with that bite and all the senses it triggers? That course? This also applies to most things. Maybe even reading this. What are you 100% focused on?
SHOWING UP FOR YOURSELF & MAKING TIME: this may feel redundant, but we really want to hammer in the point. In order to create awareness, you’ve got to be there physically and mentally and the best way to do that is to make time for yourself when you can show up fully. We know this may be hard, and maybe especially so during the holiday season, but it is absolutely essential to create any changes you are hoping to. We all have 5-10 minutes we can make each day. It may be 5-10 less minutes on social media or TV, or perhaps something else that we can expedite or get help with to take off our plate.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST…Don’t’ wait for the perfect time- START!:
The best way to create change or start a new habit is to do just that. Once you reflect and create the awareness around how to go about what is next, do it. Maybe not in full form, maybe just a little bit of it. It DOES NOT have to be big at all and we find that tiny little steps work best for not only making it way easier to start, but also keep going. So, try to get going with something small.
Here’s what that may look like: Maybe start your awareness journey with your morning routine if you start your day similarly each day. It doesn’t need to be an elaborate routine. We like to piggy back something on to something we already do and slowly sink into that time with some awareness. Choose one of your activities be it your first cup of coffee of the day or breakfast, maybe your shower, or maybe you start your day with some movement like a walk or the gym… be present and really observe each part of the activity. How does the low morning light hit your eyes on your walk, if you take your dog out first thing how does the cool air feel on your skin, how does the coffee smell as you take your first sip, instead of just chugging it in the car, how does the warm water feel on your skin as you shower? As you slow down and work on awareness you will likely notice more things that you may have been glancing over, and you’ll also be able to find ways to apply it to more and more things in your daily life. This can be an opportune time to just stay with that practice of awareness or add in a VERY SMALL HABIT/ACTION that gets you moving toward a specific goal. Maybe it is adding in a walk to begin with for some movement for just 10 minutes because you realize it lends toward a movement or health goal you have. Maybe it’s just having some water with lemon at breakfast before/with your coffee because you don’t drink enough water. Maybe it is ending your shower with a cold portion. Maybe it’s something else entirely, but you now are aware of the time and place for it.
Whatever you choose to do make it something you know you WILL DO. That’s the most important. It needs to be small/easy enough for you to be certain to do it. On a scale of 1-10, we always ask people if they are 9/10 or more. If not, pick something else. And most importantly start now, not after the “new” year. While you are reflecting and cultivating awareness, get some small traction now and see how much easier things can be if you already have these practices and a small something going (more on habit formation techniques to come soon).
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START VERY SMALL… But Get a Jump Start With the 2 Weeks You Still Have if You Have the Bandwidth to Do it!
We tend to create these illusory boundaries for certain times of year. For example, this global tradition of setting goals for the year with “New Year’s Resolutions”. This also plays into a sense of defeat as many folks will “fall off the wagon” so to speak, or are unable to find joy and pride in the smaller achievements along the way. So how do we circumvent this trend of disappointment and devaluing our efforts? As we mentioned, try smarter, attainable, and very specific shorter term achievable ACTIONS/habits throughout the year, and do focus on the actions that lead to the goals rather than the other way around (again- more on this to come).
There is no perfect time, so go ahead and set yourself a small action to get started with BEFORE THE NEW YEAR fi you can manage it... The goal of practicing a very small habit that aligns with your health or fitness goals (or heck make it anything that you need to take a small amount of effort to do). Make it something EASILY ACHIEVABLE, like going for a 10-minute walk before breakfast or after lunch. Have a glass of water with dinner. A 5-minute mindfulness session before you get going for the day. Add an extra serving of protein to dinner (that only takes minutes if not seconds). If you miss a day, don’t stress, just get back out there the next day. We like to shoot for 80%, not 100%. 80% is WAY more sustainable and a consistency that is easier to build on without burnout.
You don’t need to commit to BIG or SUDDEN changes, this can set us up to feel like we’ve failed. What you can do is have an idea of what you may like to achieve, and break it down to SMALL AND SUSTAINABLE goals and using our tools of AWARENESS AND REFLECTION. You can then really get yourself into a place that feels good and understand what might actually work for you to uphold long term. Just look at it as improving your new simple habit by 1% every day versus looking for a 100% change in a year, and you’ll actually end up with a much bigger improvement that you can stick with!